Granddad's Ashtray

Den & the Ligger - 1999


WARNING - contains swearing.

I went round to see Nicos
But Nicos wasn't in
So I went round the back
And rattled on his bins

I said "Nicos" (Nicos)
"Nicos" (Nicos)
"Nicos" (Nicos)
But Nicos wasn't in

I went round to see Ferenc
But Ferenc wasn't there
So I rattled on his bedroom window
Standing on a chair

I said "Ferenc" (Ferenc)
"Ferenc" (Ferenc)
"Ferenc" (Ferenc)
But Ferenc wasn't there

I went round Baskavoulla's
Baskavoulla wasn't at home
So I smashed her patio window
With her garden gnome

"Baskavoulla" (Baskavoulla)
"Baskavoulla" (Baskavoulla)
"Baskavoulla" (Baskavoulla)
Baskavoulla wasn't home

I went round Lucette Ketley's
But Lucette couldn't be had
The note said she'd gone shopping
With her mum and dad

So I kicked her alley door in
And I scrambled round the back
And I poured a can of diesel in the fertilizer sack
And I stood well back.....


I went off down the High Street
Against the wind and rain
The sirens mingled nicely
With the howling in my brain

I started walking faster
And I broke into a run
And when I got to my house
I thought "shit, what have I done!?"

Cos there they were all standing there
By my garden gate
Looking at their watches
As if somebody was late

Lucette Ketley (Lucette Ketley)
Baskavoulla (Baskavoulla)
Ferenc (Ferenc)
Nicos (Nicos)
They said "Den, where have you been?"

See video of live performance of this song:

Live at The Performance Club, Bath - 30th October 2018 (Set One)

Listen to all tracks on Granddad's Ashtray

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