To Be Decided
Wobbie Wobbit - FAWM 2019
Collaboration with Huw Thomas as Christopher Featherston-Haugh
Features interview. Song starts at 5:40
Huw: Guitar, recorder, vocals
The Scoundrel And The Wench
Away to Stratford town now we will go
Upon the tumbling Avon in full flow
Bound by band of gold for all their life
We find here he the husband she the wife
But love's true flame, alas, here now doth flicker
And neighbours prick their ears as they do bicker
In raucous argument and bandied words
Assailing each with bitter verbal turds
For he a hunter and unthinking rake
Believes that she her whole life must forsake
To wait upon him ev'ry waking hour
And still appear to all his dainty flower
So let us go there now then you and I
And on their wall be settled as a fly
As they fling most horrid foul and vehement
Slings and slangs of torrid disagreement...
Fie upon't You scullion!
Fie Fie rampallian!
Fie fie fie fie
I care not a fig
Thou art a lousy putrefactive pig!
And thou art but a puritan and prig!
Should I not slay the beasts and steal their meat
Then wouldst we not have feasts and meals to eat
Aye, true but their decapitated heads
Lie strewn and maggots there do make their beds
I find abandoned deer and rabbit scuts
To speak not of the spiral piles of guts
Tis my task to go out and make the kill
To cook and clean, my lady, is thy skill
Fie you pompous blackguard
Fie you ugly haggard
Fie fie fie fie
Pray not my fury goad
On thee hath hell's vile monsters been bestowed
Pish! Thou art a venom belching toad
Thy garments tossed in turmoil everywhere
Discarded garters do my feet ensnare
My breeches may be soaked in blood and grime
For country matters occupy my time
Around my bum-roll wrapped I find your ruff
Last night I found your codpiece in my muff
My codpiece in your muff?!
Yea! Your codpiece in my muff!
And thou complainst my lady? Twas it not enough?
Codpiece in my muff Ha ha!
Codpiece in my muff tra la!
Fa la la
Sing tirra lyra lady
Fa la la
Hey ho hey ho
Ding-a dong ding-a dong
Hey nonny nonny
What my codpiece?!
Our lovers thus dissolve in bawdy glee
And to their wanton wicked chamber flee
Our puzzled neighbours shrug and shake their heads
Retire to hear the doings from their beds
Listen to more Christopher Featherston-Haugh adventures:
Monkey And The Grinder
Listen to all tracks from To Be Decided
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